A Husband or Significant Other’s Guide to Breast Augmentation

No one has a breast augmentation in a vacuum! Everyone has friends and family who are involved in the decision making process to some extent. However, outside of ourselves, the person who will be most affected by getting a breast augmentation will be our husband or significant other.

Here is where we have advice for you, the man in your life. This section is for exchanging stories with and giving support to the other half of the breast augmentation saga. All the catering and the excitement revolve around her, the patient. But who takes care of you, the other half, or helps you through it? What are you supposed to expect? How are you supposed to handle all the responsibility of her breast implants surgery recovery? What do I do when...? What should I do if...? Are other men going to stare at her even more now? Who is she doing this for?

The goal here is to answer all your questions and help you get through your wife or girlfriend's breast augmentation. It is not an easy job to take care of a recovering patient, but somebody's go to do it. And if that someone is you, perhaps you can contribute and help others by leaving your post-op legacy. Contact us if you have a breast augmentation story from the man’s perspective.

Breast Augmentation Stories Submitted by Our Visitors' Friends and Significant Others

Marc's Tips for the Other Half on Breast Implant Surgery
Rick Speaks Out About Breast Augmentation
Kevin's Thoughts on Breast Augmentation

Marc's Tips For The Other Half

What is she getting herself into??
Please read this site in its entirety, so you can understand all the breast augmentation talk. Otherwise you will be confused and look like you don't care. Women are like that. We love them the way they are, but they are strange creatures. Some more than others. This section is brought to you in a candid, male-point-of-view format to help you get through her surgery unscathed.

Who is she doing this for? Is she doing this to get attention from other guys?
She is getting a breast augmentation for her. I am sure you and only you have a little to do with it, but this surgery should definitely be only for her satisfaction. She either thinks that her figure needs more curves, she needs reconstruction or she feels that larger breasts will make her feel more feminine. She is not and I repeat, not getting a breast augmentation to get more attention from other guys, so relax. We all go through this stage.

Will her breasts be all scarred up afterwards? What if she needs a lift?
The standard incisions for breast augmentation are now smaller than they’ve ever been and things such as Steri-Strips help scars flatten and fade faster. But a breast lift involves more scarring and if she needs a lift, she needs a lift, and you being upset isn't going to help matters. Be sensitive and understanding regarding her needs. If you don’t, you will hurt her feelings and make her more insecure about her breasts—and you will pay for it in the end. Besides, it's pretty insensitive and stupid to get upset about a few scars that will fade in time. If she doesn't mind it, you certainly shouldn't. Besides, this is a choice that will stay with her forever, even if something should happen between the two of you. The benefit is for her. You just get to borrow them sometimes.

The Consultation. What is my place as the man?
This can totally depend upon her. Usually docs will let you go in for the consults and the pre-op and post-op appointments and sometimes the surgery, but it is definitely up to her and what makes her feel comfortable. You should ask her beforehand how involved she would like you to be. I mean you don't want to walk all over her words at the consultation. You will more than likely be given your turn towards the end of the consult. Have your list of questions or include them with hers. There are some tips and question print outs on the site to help with this. Oh, and don't get jealous over a male doc touching her boobs. Don't be stupid. It's awkward to watch, but how else is the doc going to know what is needed? She will, however, more than likely feel awkward about having her boobs touched by someone else in front of you.

What do I expect before surgery? Anything I should do? Help!

Print out these lists:

The consultation lists are great to study and bring along to her consultations. It even has a rating system for the surgeon so you can remember what you thought about him or her. The medication lists are very important! That list contains a lot of the medications that she should not take for at least two weeks before surgery and two weeks after surgery. The preoperative list contains things you can do to prepare, where to keep everything, and tips that make her recovery smoother and make your job easier. The preoperative shopping list contains a collection of all the things you need for a smoother recovery, from snacks to meds to film. The postoperative list is great for odds and ends on what to expect, things to watch out for and post-operative advice.

She talks nonstop about boobs! HELP!!!
Deal with it. Period. It will pay off in the end. She will feel better about herself and in turn she will feel sexier, and then you get to see 'em more! And maybe you'll get to touch them.

What size is what? The bigger the better?

Size is up to her and only her. Get used to it.
If you say anything about getting them really huge you are going look like an insensitive pig and I strongly advise against it. Unless of course you and she have that kind of relationship where you can kid like that without getting murdered.
Although you will be asked for your opinion, if you have any questions, refer to rule number one. Just carefully state your opinions based on what looks sensible, sexy, and will not be uncomfortable, or have her tipping over when she stops walking forward.

Other than that, the rice test is what most girls use. Although not the best way to determine size, she may want to fill bras of her desired postoperative size with little plastic bags of uncooked rice, uncooked couscous, or water. You will see her walking around in a bra that is close to her size goal and filled with bags of rice. She is going to walk around the house with it, maybe run around town with it and even sleep in it to determine if she can handle a larger size full time.

The standard rice measuring system for this is:

1 cup of uncooked rice = 275.3cc

1 cup of water (U.S. liquid measure) = 236.6 cc or 236.6 ml

Sometimes, women will put the rice in little pouches made from old stockings rather putting them in plastic bags because it is a more comfortable, moldable, and quieter way to "try it on for size."

Well, what do they feel like? How long do I have to wait to touch them?
In my opinion, they will feel much better than the real thing. Seriously. Money well spent! They are firmer, perkier, more fun to hold (hey, just being honest) and most men report they can't keep their hands off of them. Lay off at first because they will be sore, and she will be very protective of them at first. Besides, they aren't softballs or even basketballs. Go easy.

And her nipples are going to be very sensitive for quite a while and if you pinch or touch one you are bound to get slapped, out of sheer reflex. Be careful. You will get your playtime. Be patient.

Preoperative and Postoperative Gifts?
You may want to give little gifts, even save a few for times when she is really down. These can be a lifesaver. And the cool thing is anesthesia causes amnesia so you can rewrap them and give them to her again! It's pretty funny. Try it. I am kidding. =) But the memory thing is real. My girlfriend watched the same movies over and over and still can't remember watching them.

On a serious note, gifts can be great and are really very thoughtful. You can gain lots of postoperative points this way. Here are some suggestions:

Tiffany & Co: The #1 chick-gift. A bracelet or necklace will give you so many postop points, your head will be spinning once she is healed. Top picks may be anything from the Tiffany & Co. 1837 Collection. And don't worry, there are a lot of silver items, so you won't go broke. Anything that says Tiffany & Co on it and comes in that blue box will put you on easy street. I guarantee it.
Bath Products: Bubble bath, bath salts, bath beads, foaming bath tablets (a good one!), foaming rose petals, candles, classical music or other types of easy listening music for long soaks to ease preoperative tension.
- Victoria's Secret has great bath products and ladies like the pink striped handle bags for some reason. Other good stores for this sort of thing are Bath & Body Works, Origins, Sephora, and big department stores.
Lingerie Gift Certificates: Do no try to guess sizes (big mistake), just get a gift certificate.
Breast Augmentation Books to read up on (great preop gift)
Postop Day of Beauty at a Salon: This can include a facial, a manicure, or a pedicure. You'll get points for these, my friend.
Coupons for favors such as watching the kids, housework, making dinner, taking her out to dinner, postop back massages (very needed), foot massages.
Flowers or potted plants (come on guys, this should be a given)
Cards: Giving her more than one (like each day of recovery for a week) will get you post-op points, I promise.
Brush her hair: Girls like this, but just be careful. Start from the bottom and work your way up gently, or you will make her cry. Again.

How do I wrap a basket???
We get asked this question a lot believe it or not! The sure fire, prettiest, and easiest way to wrap an odd gift such as a basket of more gifts is to use fabric.

Go to a fabric store and buy a piece of girly or sexy fabric (animal prints like leopard print are good) that is big enough to hold the basket as if it were a sack, gathered at the top.
Buy a ribbon to match, ask for help if you can't match worth a hill of beans.
Lay the fabric out and put the basket in the middle.
Gather the ends of the fabric above the top of the basked and spin it gently like a garbage bag.
Tie a ribbon around the fabric where it twisted up (where you would put a garbage bag twist tie or a zip tie).
Don't tie the ribbon in a knot! Tie it in a bow like you tie your shoes. That's it.

What happens in surgery?
I got to see them get implanted and that was probably the coolest thing I have ever seen. She had hers by TUBA, which is an acronym for transumbilical breast augmentation, (through her navel) so it was a clean surgery. They were her natural size one minute then BAM! they were huge the next when the air was pumped in to stretch the tissues. The doc started molding and pushing her breasts around to help with the tissue expansion then they kind of fizzled out when they removed the air. But the saline was coming next! BAM! bigger again. And they would have been bigger if I hadn't said that I thought they were as big as she wanted them. The nurses kept saying, "I think she wants them bigger." I was right, like always.

What to expect after her surgery?
If she chose subglandular placement, the road to recovery will be shorter than if she went with partial or full submuscular. She will feel discomfort–but no more than what her prescribed medication should alleviate. She probably won't be able to shower for a few days, so give her sponge baths, and basically do as she wishes to make her feel more comfortable. She may not remember your efforts, but it's not your fault, she means well. This is because of the amnesiac properties of the anesthesia, which is covered in the All About Anesthesia Section.

You may notice that her breasts are quite firm and high up on her chest. They will drop (some say "fluff." I dislike that term. Those aren't pillows!) and they will soften up in time. Don't make a big deal out of this. The firmness is from the swelling and, if she went under the muscle, the muscle is traumatized and all knotted up causing an even firmer feel. It will work itself out and you will notice a softer breast in a few weeks. The cold compresses will significantly lessen the swelling, as will keeping her torso elevated. Check with her doctor and refer to your post-op list you should have been given. She is going to be more swollen and tight in the mornings.

Many women complain of very erect and sensitive nipples. It happens often. Her nipples may feel very sensitive when even when her clothing rubs up against them. Suggest that she use those round Band-Aids, corn pads, or nursing pads to cover her nipples if she complains about then being erect or sensitive. These pads will protect her overly-sensitive nipples from the abrasiveness of her clothing and shield her erect nipples from the wandering eyes of the public. Most men get bothered with this. It is difficult to not look at them whether you are male or female. Don't let it get to you. It will only cause arguments or tension between you two. And you'll never get to touch them.

She is going to be bruised. Don't panic. What did you expect? We've all had bruises before. It will subside. Hopefully, she will have begun taking arnica montana and applying the arnica gel. This truly works for most people. Ask her surgeon (if she doesn't remember to ask) before you buy it though.

As far as what they look like, her breasts may be all odd looking. This is because of her skin being stretched over them so tightly. The implants may be very firm and high. If she got unders (either subpectoral or full submuscular), it may take a bit for the muscles to relax, especially on her dominant side. For instance, if she is right handed, her right breast may not fall as fast as her left one. Don't worry though, it will, and if it doesn't due to the pocket not being made low enough, her surgeon can correct it later on. Remind her of this before she starts getting depressed about the way they look. Most women get very depressed if they don't look perfect by a week. You know how women can be.

The healing period takes time. Her muscles are going to be quite traumatized if she chose under placement, and the firmness will be from the tight, knotted up muscles. However, if she has her implants overfilled very much it will result in firmness that will never go away. Most women like this, but find out before surgery if she wants firm or very squishy, natural feeling breasts. Regardless of the volume they will feel slightly different from u-augmented breasts. And if you say anything derogatory, like "EEEW" after touching them for the first time, you will probably never touch them again. Or you will lose a hand and get divorced.

Her back is going to start cramping up after sleeping with several pillows for a few nights. Heat packs or hot water bottles are good for this, but don't let her sleep on them or she could get severely burned. And don't let heat get anywhere near her breasts! The excess heat can cause hemorrhaging from the blood vessels dilating. Postop massages are a good bet. She will definitely appreciate it even if she doesn't remember it later on.

For more information on recovery and what to expect see the Recovery Section.

Is she going to be crying a lot? What for??
Anesthesia makes anyone very emotional. Not only that, but the trauma and the general experience can make someone very happy one minute and extremely depressed the next. Is it like PMS, you ask? Yes, but worse because you can't walk out to escape it. You must stay there to make sure she is taken care of.

Well what can you do? Be supportive. Tell her she looks great. Buy her little recovery gifts, which we covered earlier. Be there for her when she needs you. Tell her the meds can make her feel funny sometimes and that she has every right to be upset. Abide by these simple rules, or you will be sorry. And you will never touch them -- ever.

Recovery With Children
Check out our Breast Augmentation and Children Section for tips and suggestions.

Breast Massage and Compression Exercises
Some docs think their patients should massage some don't. Marianne's doc told her to and I wish I could tell you that she does this every day but she doesn't, no matter how much I tell her!!

These exercises consist of squeezing the implant to the outer most corners of the pocket, say, up, down and side to side. She may be instructed to do this a few times and hold the implant in each position for a few seconds. Her doctor should show you both (or just her) how to massage. She usually starts about a week postop, but some docs start within 4 hours after surgery. If this seems too early and it hurts, then doctors will say to wait another week. They will usually instruct her to massage them several times a day until about 3 weeks postop. After that, she may begin massaging them only once a day for the rest of her life. The purpose of massage is to keep the pocket roomy and keep the scar capsule that naturally forms around the implant loose and elastic.

Some surgeons also tell their patients to do compression exercises as well. I do know that we have seen message board posts where a woman has said "I wish I would have started compression exercises as soon as possible, that way I wouldn't have gotten capsular contracture so badly." That said, she should ask her surgeon about actually squeezing the implant slightly to keep the naturally occurring capsule flexible and loose. I can say that with today's high instance of over filling, like with Marianne's, pressing the outsides of the implant together is quite impossible but actually having experimented with implants outside of the body, the walls can be squeezed together with much overfill with no problems at all. They are very strong. I find it excessive to violently squeeze the implants, but have her listen to her surgeon!!

Premedication For Dental
Another thing to worry about and, I know this is controversial, is that some surgeons advise premedicating with antibiotics for dental work, even a cleaning. I know some doctors don't agree. But I have spoken with a few people online who developed CC directly after dental work. Marianne had major dental work a few times right after having gotten her implants, but she had been on antibiotics for a year and a half, practically, for all of her surgeries. So many courses of antibiotics in fact she lost a lot of her eyebrows, hence the eyebrow-less photos all around the site (she hates this) She did get antibiotics after her wisdom tooth removal and a root canal, but this was intended for the dental work, not her implants, so I can't say she planned ahead.

Have her ask her doctor or dentist about this and he or she will prescribe a few antibiotics for this purpose. Usually 3 to 4 days of antibiotics should keep her safe. After all, like she says, it is better to be safe than sorry.

Periodic Endoscopic Implant Evaluation
Some docs do this and some think it is a tad excessive. I think if she has silicone-filled implants that this is a good idea because you will know if the implant has ruptured. But if you have a rupture with saline, you and she are going to know about it pretty soon afterwards. Hence, some feel there is no need to do this for patients with saline unless they are having specific firmness, bulging, or contour problems.

My Personal Advice:
I always try and share her excitement and support her through the whole process. Plastic surgery is a very exciting thing for the person getting it. For many people, they are about to finally change something that has been bothering them for a very long time. I also made sure I knew what she was getting into. We did the research together and I went with her to all her preop and postop appointments. I was also in the room for the surgeries themselves. You can't really support someone well if you don't know what they are getting into.

As far as reacting to others about her breast augmentation, that can be a bit tricky. It really depends on the person and the situation. I can joke with my friends and say it was the best $6,000 I've ever spent. Or I can talk with my mother about it and tell her how much it has helped her self-esteem and how she feels prettier now.

Some people will always look down on breast augmentations and plastic surgery in general. Don't let them get you down. Most of them are very unhappy with themselves and they hate the fact that others are doing something for themselves to feel and look better.

Other men will stare more, just take it as a compliment and ignore them. If they are really bothering her then what you do is up to you.

For the most part I don't care what other people think, but I know it is an issue that should be addressed because these awkward situations will come up and it's best to give it some though before you react. Or—that's right—you will never get to touch them.

As for your level of involvement, this I would think is up to the person you're taking care of. I could see how some people would want to be left alone more and do more of the little things for themselves. So as long as you know the person, I'm sure you will be able to figure that for yourself.

The first couple of nights after her surgeries I slept with a pillow in between us to make sure I didn't roll over and hurt her. I gave her all the meds at the times she was supposed to take them and I brought her all her food. I rented her movies and bought her some Barbie coloring books and crayons at her request. (Girls tend to get really emotional during recovery so you should get them whatever they ask for no matter how weird). I gave her a sponge bath every day until she could take a bath herself and I took postop pictures almost every day for the first week. When she would cry for no apparent reason I would do my best to comfort her. I would also comb her hair daily to help her feel pretty and cared for.

So the simple answer I think would be to take care of her just as you would if she were sick and stuck in bed for a few days. Other than that you need to use what you already know about her to make her feel loved and cared for during this emotional time.

Colleen's Hubby, Rick, Speaks Out About Breast Augmentation

Q. What did you think about your wife/girlfriend wanting an augmentation?

I was all for it. If it makes her happy, then she has a right to pursue happiness wherever she can find it.

Q. How was your wife/girlfriends recovery?

Difficult to watch. But considering how bad she wanted it, she didn't seem to mind as much as an uninvited recuperation (say for instance, getting hit by a semi).

Q. Have you noticed a change in the way she feels about herself now that the procedure has been done?

I believe her self-image has improved, and she dresses more provocatively in public (although not as much as I'd like in private).

Q. Has the augmentation helped or hurt your relationship?

I don't believe it had an effect in either direction. We were a perfect match before, and you can't improve on perfection.

Q. Do you have any advice to give to other men whose wives/girlfriends may be looking into breast augmentation?

I would say that it is every spouse's duty (man or woman) to do everything in their power to help their mate reach their goals. If you aren't willing to work with you mate and share their goals, then why be with them in the first place?

Rick T.

Read Colleen's Journal!

Kevin's Thoughts on Breast Augmentation

I actually had quite a few concerns about her wanting a breast augmentation. First, I was worried about what could happen to her. My biggest concern was the anesthesia. I understand why she wants a breast augmentation. After having breastfed our son, Wilson, her breasts lost volume. I loved her with or without full breasts and I didn't want her to think that it was me who wanted them all along, because I actually hadn't really thought about it until she mentioned it.

My second concern was our finances. With the economy the way it had been, stocks hadn't been doing too incredibly well, and the going rate for a breast lift with augmentation wasn't going to be cheap.

I was really concerned about how she would feel afterwards, but she came out of surgery sleepy and confused. But she was fine. She said she didn't hurt, that she was just tired. She slept the whole way home and never got sick even once the entire recovery. She never complained of pain, just soreness and heaviness like pressure on her chest. She would wake up at night thirsty and needing to go to the bathroom, but that was the extent of her recovery. After she spoke with some of her friends about their recovery and told me they had it hard, I am really thankful.

Her breasts didn't bruise that much either. She took arnica and vitamins and we kept her iced up. I guess Connie had it easier than most.

She now walks around the bedroom without covering herself up. I catch her in the mirror looking at them, touching them, asking me what I think. I like them a lot. I won't lie about that. But I liked them before, too. I feel she is more confident and likes to shop for new blouses, bras and teddies, so I guess I will need to get a second job now! Ha ha!

Her having a breast augmentation didn't affect us negatively at all. We got along well beforehand and we still do. She seems to like to be naked more and is more sexual, but I think that is because she is more comfortable with her body and feels sexier with her new breasts.

If I had any advice for you I’d have to say: know what to expect. Go to the consults, help her shop for recovery items, and set up her recovery nest. The more you support her, the easier the experience will be for the both of you. I feel that it is important to do what you can to make the transition easier. I love my wife. This is what she wanted, and I support her.

Kevin